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[vigilanteforce]

Yea well who knows what else that guy was doing to the cat when they were alone. Perhaps he was putting the sauce on his dick so the cat would lick it off LOL I mean judging from the cat's behavior that wouldn't be impossible.

[death_proof_reg]

Vigilanteforce!!! you just reminded me of something

Back in primary school this guy invited me to his birthday sleepover, I said no (same fucker broke my nose) and two of my mates did go, and they told me that he pulled his pyjama trousers down and got his dog to lick his balls. I beleive it, he used to flash his cock at swimming, under the water, sick fuck... I also witnessed his dad flush his head down the toilet haha. anyway ya worth mentioning.

[Stephen Grimes]

I remember a mate in Rose Hill(dregs of south London ) giving his cat blow backs on a spliff and then watching the cats leg buckle underneath it,was nearly 20 years ago mind.

[Paul]

I remember a mate in Rose Hill(dregs of south London ) giving his cat blow backs on a spliff and then watching the cats leg buckle underneath it,was nearly 20 years ago mind.

Amate of mine used was living at home. Every Friday evening, his mum's friend would come over and she'd bring her cocker spaniel puppy. My mate would go down stairs and make a fuss of the dog and ask if he could take it up to his room. When he bought it back, he'd continually give it blowbacks. Really fucking funny--causae I swear--after a few weeks, the dog was clucking for it; would get really excited when my mate went down to see him! 

[Inspector Tanzi]

Vigilanteforce!!! you just reminded me of something

Back in primary school this guy invited me to his birthday sleepover, I said no (same fucker broke my nose) and two of my mates did go, and they told me that he pulled his pyjama trousers down and got his dog to lick his balls. I beleive it, he used to flash his cock at swimming, under the water, sick fuck... I also witnessed his dad flush his head down the toilet haha. anyway ya worth mentioning.

And that's reminded me of something!

A girl called Kate who i used to work with had a party, some bloke was really pissing here off with his drunken antics, so much he fell asleep/passed out, she pulled his trousers and pants down, smeared jam all round his dick and got the dog to come and lick it off while she took some polaroids.

[broonage]

Did you eat them?

That was great!

[broonage]

I used to know a guy (who actually went insane, but that's another story) who'd put his two cats in the washing machine on a slow dry spin. They'd not be stressed, more confused as they would try to keep up with the spin (like a hamster on a wheel) and he'd giggle for hours after it. I gave him a good earful about that and told him if i see him do that again i'd kick his arse, cruel as hell.

[Captain]

Here's a dramatic one. Used to know a guy who had a small, weird looking dog. Kinda looked like a big, oversized rat. One saturday morning I show up at his house. The guy was not there so his father and me would go pick him up at his aunt's house or something. We get in the car and reverse into the street. But it felt like we drove over a rock or something. The guy's father starts yelling and cursing and tells me to stay in the car. We both got out though and there's this little dog with his head crushed, still moving a little. The guy's mother comes outside and starts crying. As the father was taking the dog inside I got on my little bike and took off, figured it was my fault. It wasn't though. The end.

ps. I didn't eat the dog.

[Inspector Tanzi]

When i wa about 18-19 i was cycling about with my mate Dave and we see loads of pigeons, decided to cycle through them so they would scatter and i fely a bump under my back wheel, i turned around and there was a pigeon wityh a broken neck dead on the floor, it hould have been quicker shouldn't it.

[Paul]

Why don't you tell them the story about the old lady and the Yorkshire Terrier?

[Mart85]

Hahaha some funny shit amigos.  I aint got no funny animal stories.

[Inspector Tanzi]

Why don't you tell them the story about the old lady and the Yorkshire Terrier?

I was walking along minding my own business and an old woman was approaching me with her little dog.

As we passed for no reason this horrible little cunt of a dog suddenly started to maul my leg, i managed to shake it off, it carried on so i booted it, it went flying into a wall then slumped down to the floor and loads of shit seeped out of it.

"You cruel vicious boy!" the old woman said and started ranting about her poor innocent fucking dog.

When dealing with old complainers like this the bet thing to shock them to make them shut up is a good bit of foul language.

"your dog attacked me you senile old cunt, fuck off and take your dog with you", or words to that effect.

I walked off and she just stood there shocked looking at her horrible little queer looking dog which was just laying there.

[Paul]

I've heard that story countless times over the years but I still chuckled like a cunt reading that, mate 

[Mart85]

Why don't you tell them the story about the old lady and the Yorkshire Terrier?

I was walking along minding my own business and an old woman was approaching me with her little dog.

As we passed for no reason this horrible little cunt of a dog suddenly started to maul my leg, i managed to shake it off, it carried on so i booted it, it went flying into a wall then slumped down to the floor and loads of shit seeped out of it.

"You cruel vicious boy!" the old woman said and started ranting about her poor innocent fucking dog.

When dealing with old complainers like this the bet thing to shock them to make them shut up is a good bit of foul language.

"your dog attacked me you senile old cunt, fuck off and take your dog with you", or words to that effect.

I walked off and she just stood there shocked looking at her horrible little queer looking dog which was just laying there.

 

[mikekitchell]

So, at certain points in the past my roommate was a bit more sexually promiscuous than he is now--namely, in high school and his first to years of college.  One night he had met some girl at a party and ended up going back with her to her parents house.  He was a horny teenager, so he, natch, had no complaints.  So him and this girl started 'gettin' down' so to speak, but my roommate couldn't help but notice that the girl's dog was just sort of sitting in the room, watching.  He found it kind of weird, but once again, horny teenage boy + horny teenage girl = pretty much nothing can stop the action.  So they did the dirty deed, and afterwards they were just sort of sitting their, naked, on top of the covers.  The dog was still there. 

All of a sudden, the dog jumps on the bed and licks my roommate's dick-- he sort of freaks out and has no idea what to do-- pushing the dog off the bed he jumps off and pulls his clothes back on.  "I have to go."

I don't think he's spoken to the girl since, but he's always extra careful that there aren't any animals in the room whenever he gets down to business now!