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Author Topic: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?  (Read 11944 times)

broonage

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #15 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 14:56 »

haha. Filthy bastards.

I have more stories to tell, but i've already entered the comp. Maybe i'll just post them for the banter.
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Paul

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #16 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:01 »

haha. Filthy bastards.

I have more stories to tell, but i've already entered the comp. Maybe i'll just post them for the banter.

Do it!  :P
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Kevin Coed

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #17 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:12 »

About three years ago I porked the wife while her friend took photos. Do you want any more details?
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broonage

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #18 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:13 »

haha. Filthy bastards.

I have more stories to tell, but i've already entered the comp. Maybe i'll just post them for the banter.

Do it!  :P

You're on, when i finish work i'll get typing. ;)
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Paul

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #19 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:17 »

About three years ago I porked the wife while her friend took photos. Do you want any more details?


Even though that's a brief summary of the events, that's pretty fucking shameless, mate  :-\
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Jonny

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #20 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:27 »

Was her friend Male or Female?
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Kevin Coed

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #21 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:29 »

Female. I'll put some more detail up sometime when the Mrs isn't in the room!
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Stephen Grimes

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #22 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 15:30 »

About three years ago I porked the wife while her friend took photos. Do you want any more details?

Ha ha nice one Kev  :P :P
Defo a yay for that mate!
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Mart85

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #23 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 16:13 »

Fucking great thread  ;)

I ain't got anything even close to these stories.

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broonage

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #24 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 16:34 »

Kevin, you are obviously shameless to tell us.  ;D
My stories are certainly not as "extreme" as that.

Numero 2:

When i was in student accommodation I lived with 7 other lads. One guy was a French guy who was VERY private about everything. He'd lock his door all the time, he wouldn't let you in his room without making you take your shoes off etc etc...lovely bloke, just easy to wind-up. So, one day he had to go to a tennis class or something like that, he was late. We all jumped at the chance when we saw he had forgotten to lock his door. We took out the tool box, took his door of the hinges and then hid it in someone else's room - locked. We wrote a professional looking letter saying "Due to safety reasons, we have taken your door. The Janitor."

We realised that the hot chick who worked at the pub 30m from our flat was bar tending that afternoon. We thought "let's have a few and chat up the bird". So off we went with smug grins on our faces. We stayed a tad too long at the pub as she was looking extra hot that day. We stayed for a few extra jars.  :P Eventually we realised it was getting into the late evening and our flatmate would be returning from his game. We walked home after saying "ciao" to the chick.

As we are going up the stairs a carpenter is walking down - he says "alright lads". We realise we are FUCKED! We run up the stairs and there is the janitor, a representative from the uni, and a HUGE FAT SWEATY KNOBHEAD.
Our flatmate being naive had returned a tad earlier from his tennis thingy, saw the letter and genuinely believed it. We hadn't left a fake number for the janitor, so he had called the Uni instead saying "umm can i have my door back please". Bam, we were caught out!

The FAT CUNT starts saying stuff straight away - "you idiots are in trouble, blah blah, fire hazard, his computer could have been stolen, we are frowning upon this, blah blah bullshit..." Every 2nd word was an uncalled for swear word, and he was basically insulting us. He seemed to think we should go to jail!

The uni didn't think it was funny and had paid a fortune for an emergency callout for a carpenter, oh and also called the fire brigade due to some uni regulations!???
On the following Monday we had to go to the uni office, apologise, explain it was a stupid joke, etc. They said it was original but daft and we all had to pay (something like) £100 each.

Our flatmate tried to explain it was for the banter but they didn't care. How could i be ashamed about that? It was fucking hilarious. Monsieur Private eventually found it funny.

Doesn't quite reach the standards of Kevin's though, little more innocent fun.  ::)
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broonage

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #25 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 16:48 »

Numero 3:

Ok, not sure if i should talk about substances, but here goes:

I used to go camping a lot - drinking and smoking at the same time. The sort of stuff a teenager does during his "rough stage".
We all went camping in the middle of nowhere and managed to smuggle M/D 20:20 (cheap shitty drink that you drink to get drunk quickly when you are young in Scotland) and a little smoke. A really annoying guy came along with us.
We started to have bongs (the plunger type called a bucket). The annoying guy started winding us up saying we were off our heads to smoke and he'll stick to his drink. Eventually we convinced him to take a bong. So i got some rabbit droppings, crumbled them into the bong, pulled the bucket, and he took several of them! That's FUNNY, but what was the funniest thing was the idiot acting stoned for the rest of the night. Haha...

P.S. I don't adhere to substances any more. I also don't make people smoke shit any more.
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Inspector Tanzi

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #26 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 17:10 »


Ok, not sure if i should talk about substances, but here goes:

I used to go camping a lot - drinking and smoking at the same time. The sort of stuff a teenager does during his "rough stage".

Don't worry about that, i should imagine (well, i know) that a few of us on here dabble!
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Kevin Coed

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #27 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 17:31 »

Ok. Let's not fuck around anymore. You want shameless behaviour? You fucking got it. If I don't win this motherfucker then I was ROBBED.

#1. The aforementioned photo story.
Every so often the Mrs friend would come up overnight for a drink and 'stuff' with us. I got my hands on some pills and got a bag of speed for myself. The combination of speed and pills made me feel like a pressure cooker so I stripped down to my pants. Still too hot. Asked the Mrs friend if she minded if I took my kegs off. 'No, go ahead'. Kegs off. Being bollock naked in company when you've taken as many drugs as I had that night is probably not the most flattering way of showing yourself off but....fuck it. I was on drugs.
Later the Mrs asked her friend to take some photos of her in her pvc nurses uniform. Clicking away. For a laugh I pulled her knickers off. They carried on. At this point I got an involuntary lob-on. Stuck in the middle of my living room, with female company, and my cock waving around, I had no option  but to hide it in her gob. One thing led to another and we were soon having photos taken in every conceivable position.

The punchline. We've never had the roll of film developed.

Involved : Alcohol. Ecstasy. Speed.

#2. The lighter.
In a crowded pub with a few mates one Saturday night. A bloke we all sort of knew joined us and just wouldn't shut up. Talking over everything we were saying and just generally being annoying. I repeatedly asked him to shut up and he wouldn't. Plan B. I dropped my trousers and stuck my lighter up my arse. 'Will you shut up now?' He did. So did everyone else.

Involved : Alcohol. Mushrooms.

#3. The hotel room.
Again me, the wife, her friend. We took her to London for the weekend to cheer her up and we all stayed in a doss house hotel in Paddington. Late in the night they collapsed while I still carried on caning it. I'd been up on speed for about three days at that point and there comes a point with heavy speed use where every little touch of your cock feels amazing. So I was just lying on the floor reading and tugging myself off. Finished the job only to notice that her friend wasn't asleep. She was just sitting there.

Involved : Alcohol. Speed.

#4. The hairbrush.
At a party round a friends house and he wouldn't stop brushing his fucking hair. All the fucking time. Long-haired cunt. So I took his hairbrush off him and stuck it up my arse. He started crying.

Involved : Alcohol. Speed. Methadone.
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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #28 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 17:35 »

So I took his hairbrush off him and stuck it up my arse. He started crying.

Fucking ace! Yay! for that  :P
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Stephen Grimes

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Re: New York Ripper Competition - How Shameless Are You?
« Reply #29 on: 02 Oct 2007 - 17:48 »

 :P :P
Nice one Kev,
love this bit and so true:
Quote
I'd been up on speed for about three days at that point and there comes a point with heavy speed use where every little touch of your cock feels amazing
  :-\
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